Have no fear, little one: It's only 14 of horror’s most miserable little children

Has there ever been a child more in need of parental supervision? From his self-righteous fire-and-brimstone sermons to his penchant for sickle-based murders, Children Of The Corn’s preeminent child, Isaac (John Frankin), is about as miserable as they come. Any parent who wasn’t killed in the child’s rebellion surely wanted to escape Gatlin, Nebraska, simply to put some distance between themselves and Isaac’s wrath. Not that he’s ageist in that regard; this miserable pre-teen is more than willing to take out a few of his fellow kids with an air of religiosity that makes his precociousness all the more difficult to swallow. Linda Hamilton may have survived her run-ins with the Terminator, but hearing Isaac refer to members of his pre-teen flock as “my child” might be worse than an army of robot assassins. [Matt Schimkowitz]

I’m by no means a horror aficionado, but I’ve never seen a horror movie quite like Nicolas Roeg’s Don’t Look Now, a masterful, moody, goosebumpy project that’s a cross between a thriller and an art film that just so happens to star two of the most famous actors of the ’70s. Here, Julie Christie (on quite the run, with this film bookended by McCabe & Mrs. Miller and Shampoo) and Donald Sutherland play parents grieving the loss of their young blonde daughter, who causes misery both at home after they discover her dead in a creek and in Venice as they try to get away from it all. There, Christie is convinced that a truly frightening, blind psychic can communicate with her daughter, and Sutherland thinks he sees her running through the city’s dark, twisty, empty streets in her blood-red coat (a reference so ubiquitous in pop culture now that it feels more famous than the film it’s lifted from). It all builds, weirdly and creepily, to a terrifying, fatal payoff. [Tim Lowery]

The Good Son is a Bad Seed riff that gave cynical early-90s audiences what they wanted: Kevin McCallister treated like the villain he is. A pitch-black thriller starring Macaulay Culkin and Elijah Wood, The Good Son tracks Wood’s misery as he’s forced to spend winter break with his homicidal cousin Henry (Culkin). Culkin’s father, Kit Culkin, stipulated that his son wouldn’t make Home Alone 2 unless he was cast in The Good Son, hoping it would show off the young superstar’s range for darker material. The result is a weaponized McCallister smirk that likely expressed how childless adults felt about Home Alone’s crafty booby trapper. Only McCallister has the arts-and-crafts skills to drum up a scheme like “Mr. Highway.” However, while we know which son is “Good,” who’s more miserable, Henry or his tormented cousin, is still up for debate. [Matt Schimkowitz]

It’s a statement no parent wants to hear: “So you adopted the anti-Christ.” Thankfully, it’s not something Ambassador Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck) puts too much thought into. After his biological son dies in childbirth, he adopts a mysterious orphan without his wife’s (Lee Remick) knowledge. Unfortunately, he’s the son of the devil and acts like it. Damien is the type of miserable youngster who plays the part of an adorable moppet for dad while pushing mom over a banister. And don’t get us started on trying to get this kid ready for church on Sunday. Raising Damien gets so bad that Thorn abandons his son and bedridden wife and escapes to Europe for much of the movie in search of a DaVinci Code that can kill his son. It didn’t take. Richard Donner’s first Omen (not to be confused with The First Omen) set Damien on a path to success, one that would prove reflective of our own society. The son of a powerful ambassador, Damien ascends, throughout the series, all the way to his father’s former post. That’s right: as if things weren’t bad enough, Damien is a nepo baby. [Matt Schimkowitz]

Andy Barclay (Alex Vincent) made one fateful mistake—granted he was only a six-year-old at the time—and that’s demanding a Good Guy doll for his birthday. His mother didn’t realize she was inviting a lifetime of torture into her son’s life when she bought him a cheap plastic toy. That’s because it inhabited the soul of Charles Lee Ray, a vengeful, cuckoo, and frankly funny serial killer who loves to go by Chucky. Since the first Child’s Play movie in 1988, Chucky has squeezed every opportunity to make Andy miserable by trying to possess and endanger him, killing his loved ones, and showing up wherever he goes. It’s not like Andy’s a sad-sack because his doll turned out to be an unshakable monster. But no one can blame him for losing his mind bit by bit after surviving numerous murder attempts, right? Experiencing Fuckin’ Chucky as a child enables him to grow up into a man of conviction, so by the time we meet him in SYFY’s Chucky, his only mission is to save other kids from the torment he suffered. Life always comes full circle, huh? [Saloni Gajjar]

The Babadook’s Samuel (Noah Wiseman) is the most realistic child on the list. Haunted by the death of his father and a top hat-wearing children’s book character named Babadook, Samuel has an unenviable childhood, to put it mildly. In one of the most memorable and meme-able scenes from Jennifer Kent’s film, Samuel sees the menacing children’s book character sitting next to him in the backseat of his mother’s (Essie Davis) car. Screaming so loud his poor mother probably can’t hear herself think, Samuel throws a tantrum so visceral, it’s nearly unwatchable. Perhaps echoing every frustrated parent that’s ever graced God’s green Earth, she yells at her son, “Why can’t you just be normal?” The misery of being a parent or guardian or babysitter who just cannot find a way to calm a raging child is a universal struggle that Babadook ruthlessly uses against the viewer. [Matt Schimkowitz]

What a difference a little vehicular manslaughter can make! Gage Creed is a genuinely sweet kid for the first half of 1989’s Pet Sematary—right up until his death, and subsequent internment in the titular haunted burial grounds, brings him back in a way that taught us all “dead is better.” More than 20 years later, the scene of Gage—played by a very young Miko Hughes, less funny here, we’d argue, than as the “boys have a penis, girls have a vagina” kid in Kindergarten Cop—first slitting Fred Gwynne’s Achilles tendon, and then messily tearing into his throat with his tiny teeth, is still viscerally upsetting to watch. Gage’s successor in the 2019 remake gets off a little easier—the role of murderous revenant shifting over to his older sister Ellie—but he’s still in for a pretty miserable time in the film’s ending, an obvious effort to out-bleak one of Stephen King’s very bleakest books. [William Hughes]

What happened to our sweet little girl? One day she’s playing with her imaginary friend, Captain Howdy, the next, she’s telling a priest that his mother sucks what in where? In William Friedkin’s Oscar-winning classic The Exorcist, Linda Blair pulls double duty as the lovable 14-year-old Regan and the possessing demon Pazuzu—with an assist from voice actor Mercedes McCambridge—in a role that seemed as miserable for the actor as the character. Once possessed, Regan’s misery becomes her household’s as she begins urinating at dinner parties, masturbating with a crucifix, and running the air conditioner at ungodly low temperatures. But it’s a misery that couldn’t be quelled. Regan’s childhood trials continue unabated in Exorcist II: The Heretic. Her mother didn’t fare much better. 30 years later, Chris MacNeil (Ellen Burstyn) paid penance for Regan’s crimes by suffering through the series’ legacy sequel, Exorcist: Believer. [Matt Schimkowitz]

Halloween wastes no time letting us know that Michael Myers, a mere six-year-old child, is unhinged. The movie starts with him murdering his sister and her boyfriend while they’re having sex in one of the coolest, freakiest opening scenes ever. It’s an instant shocker, but it also perfectly sets up a killer who would go on to become one of the greatest horror movie villains of all time. The franchise gradually reveals that Michael isn’t just suffering trauma, but there’s clearly some sort of unkillable evil inside of him. He was bound to be vile and wretched—talk about fate. He goes on to mindlessly kill numerous people and chase after Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) in various movies, reboots, continuations, etc. But never forget it all started because he was, and will always remain, one of the most contempt-worthy horror movie kids. [Saloni Gajjar]

Every parent wants a better life for their child, but unfortunately, some of those parents don’t know they’re in an Ari Aster movie. Aster’s aim is true in his 2018 breakthrough, Hereditary, locking family trauma in his crosshairs and firing off two miserable childhoods. Aster has long zeroed in on the damage parents do to their children with extreme prejudice. Midsommar opens with just about the worst family game night in history, and the less said about Beau’s mother, the better. But few children have had it worse than Hereditary’s Peter (Alex Wolff) and Charlie (Milly Shapiro). Between the peanut allergies and a clicking tongue habit, Charlie’s childhood was already pretty awful, but it only gets worse when she’s decapitated moments after going into anaphylactic shock and ruining a party. Is there anything worse? Yes, being the brother charged with looking after her. But while he might not ever get another babysitting job, at least Peter has the opportunity to reinvent himself as king of a coven. [Matt Schimkowitz]

Alice (Paula E. Sheppard) doesn’t deserve the hardship that befalls her in this seminal Garden State slasher. First, her sister is Brooke Sheilds, which can’t be easy because, obviously, she’s going to get all the attention. Then, she’s pinned for her sister’s murder! The hits keep coming as Alice’s abusive aunt moves in, bodies start piling up, and Alice must share space with her lecherous landlord. Alice, Sweet Alice is a religious terror for the viewer, but no one has it worse than the 12-year-old girl at the center of it. Unfortunately, the end doesn’t offer salvation, as the film’s ambiguous conclusion teases a murderous future for sweet Alice. [Matt Schimkowitz]

No one writes a mean child as well as Stephen King—which is probably why he’s so well represented in this Inventory. The bullies in King’s work are some of the most repugnant, remorseless, and despicable youths in literature, and those bad vibes translate to the screen. Regardless of the version, the sociopathic teen and Bowers Gang leader, Henry Bowers (Nicholas Hamilton, 2017; Jarred Blanchard, 1991), from It is a miserable hang. As is the case elsewhere, it’s not entirely his fault. Like many of our miserable kids, he has a horribly abusive father and an inability to express himself—well, outside of violence (this kid should try boxing or something). Still, we’re not sure if growing up in an abusive household absolves him of attempting to carve his name into Ben’s stomach. In the book, he goes even further, killing Mike’s dog. Now, that is some next-level bullying. [Matt Schimkowitz]

The monkey’s paw sure did curl for young Claudia (Kirstin Dunst) in Interview With The Vampire. Transformed into a vampiric terror before she even entered middle school, she would’ve died had Lestat not sunk his teeth into her. Doomed to walk the rest of her days as a miserable little child, she doesn’t stay silent about her body image issues, frequently criticizing her master Lestat (Tom Cruise) and eventually attempting to murder him. Nevertheless, the life of a child vampire never gets any less complicated, and she lives on for decades in her tiny frame. Everyone wants eternal youth. Few want to be that young when they receive it. [Matt Schimkowitz]

Listen, if you could see dead people, you’d probably be pretty miserable, too. Even when bullies aren’t locking Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment) in ghost-infested closets in The Sixth Sense, the apparitions are still there, wandering around, totally oblivious that they’re dead. Director M. Night Shyamalan, despite his frequently heavy-handed style (Cole’s last name is just a touch on the nose, huh?), has a remarkable skill in his ability to write child characters with care and compassion, and it’s on full display here. The Sixth Sense is remembered most for its twist ending, but it’s Osment’s haunting, haunted portrayal of Cole that carries the whole movie. He makes it easy to imagine what it would be like to have a supernatural ability—and it doesn’t seem particularly pleasant, even after he learns how to live with the dead. [Jen Lennon]